For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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