She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
