R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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