I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Houston, we have a squirter
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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