shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
