i think my tv is drunk
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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