He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
