Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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