so that wasnt chicken after all
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i love accidental penises.
We got so high we made milksteak
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
