Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
