Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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