I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
