I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
