I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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