we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
