What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
