Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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