She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
