Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You're completely useless in the revolution.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
