pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
