"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
