If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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