I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
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This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
third nipple confirmed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that