I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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