he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
