My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
