you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
