you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just google imaged poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize