U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
