I can tuck mytits in my pants
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
