Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
