why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
His nipple licking is glorious
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