we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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