If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
