I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wear drunk well.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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