YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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