Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
