Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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