Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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