You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
