Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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