do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
