I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
