I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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