I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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