He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
