I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
