She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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