wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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