My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
