Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
