i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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