Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
