i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
