Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
