I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
