I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I would fuck him just for his dog
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize