And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
