If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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