a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
