Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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