i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Two words: blizzard sex
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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