The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am available for nakedness
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
