So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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